Ten years ago, I married him. Four nights ago, I left him. The verbal abuse was from the beginning and since I experienced sexual abused as a child, it didn’t phase me. I was trained to handle anything – and I did. I thought I could love him through his pain. I thought I deserved some of it deep down. Then, six months ago, it became physical. The emotional and verbal abuse continued to happen in front of our daughter, even though I had asked him repeatedly to draw the line. No line. He hasn’t the ability to hold the line. The last time it was “bad”, I had a fractured tail bone, bruises on my neck from the choking – horrible bruises on my arms from him throwing me, bruises on my shoulder blades and something new – one on my face. I hid it as best I could with makeup. I work at a hospital – but he threatened to have a shootout with the police if I called them and he stayed at home with our daughter, so he could make good on that threat at any time. He wouldn’t let me leave with our daughter, so I had to wait. I had to wait until things were “good”. All these years, I had this unyielding drive to see it get better, I just knew that it would – when that was finally shaken in that last big fight, I was at peace to leave. I had to wait almost a month and a half, but I have left, and I have left with my daughter. He doesn’t know where we are. I see the lawyer tomorrow for the restraining order. He hasn’t gone ballistic yet – it will come. Right now, he is saying all the right things. And the most frustrating part of it so far is that I have so many well trained responses. It will take time to retrain myself – and that is a hard pill to swallow. I have support, I have a loving family who has been waiting for a long time for me to make this decision and they are all standing by me. Thank God, truly – for His grace. When it was time to leave, I prayed for an opening – and it came. Now, the long road begins – but when I see her running, playing and laughing without looking back to see if she is in trouble for some new reason, it is worth the road coming. To have those that love me finally know… To know that he cannot hurt me tonight… No guessing, no adjusting, no compensating, no defending myself tonight. That is worth it. I will pray for you all as I pray for grace and guidance myself. Jesus has never failed me yet – one of His most amazing miracles is taking pain and suffering and bringing good through it. I have seen it in my own life and I know this choice will bring me to see it again. Thank you for this site. It has been a great encouragement and a terrific resource for me.