I am horrified by how much I relate to what I have read on this site. I think what I am experiencing is just slightly different. For the past two years I have been with what I thought was the man of my dreams, he seems, from the outside, near perfect. I have always been a confident, happy, and very strong person. Over the past two years I have become absolutely lost. He never hits me or degrades me. He is erratic and lies and cheats and is most definitely an alcoholic and sex addict. At the same time, he is successful, smart, and charming. This combination is devastating. He uses me as a crutch emotionally, I feel compelled to be there for him. He would tell me he “loves me a little” until he feels like I will go, the he “loves” me. Many times he tells me to go, that he is horrible and I deserve better, this pulls me in closer. I am just so confused, my every thought is consumed by him. I know it’s abuse because I am not who I was, my spirit is broken and I just don’t know how to move on and get back.