I heard a quote once:”Give without expectation, take without forgetting.” Nice concept, but unworkable, I think. My, and I think everyone’s experience with NPD-BPD is that they are world-class takers, and we turn into world-class givers. Eventually, you run out of “give”.My NPD accused me of that – that I felt “entitled” to have sex with her because of all the things I did for her – that I was only “nice” because I expected something in return. That wasn’t it at all. I did the things I did for her because I loved her and I wanted her to be happy. I’ve always had trouble expressing my thoughts around this, but I’m going to take a shot at it here…I told her many times that the only things I expected from our relationship were her respect and her affection. I don’t think that was unreasonable, and without that in a relationship, you do end up in a business transaction.Yes, I “expected” to have a physical relationship with my wife. That’s part of why people get married. I also “expected”, given how torrid our physical relationship was before we got married, that it would continue like that for some period of time – obviously, one of the things one looks for in a potential mate is sexual compatibility. What I didn’t expect was that our physical relationship would shut down, totally, completely and without explanation, 10 months into our marriage.So, Yes, I was concerned when our torrid sexual relationship suddenly turned ice cold. Yes, I did become upset when it continued that way, despite every effort I made to find out what the problem was. And Yes, I did get angry when after years of sacrifices, giving and being a “99% wonderful” husband (her own words – I lost 1% because of my anger about the lack of intimacy) I was faced with the prospect of laying down every night for the rest of my life with a woman who completely rejected me. Bottom line, I didn’t want to f*#@ my wife, I wanted to make love to her, and her to make love to me. Were my “expectations” wrong? Was I not “entitled” to have a intimate physical relationship with the woman who I had committed my life to? Maybe the ladies on here can provide some insight, because I know that witholding sex can be a symptom of being abused, as well as a way of abusing someone.