Hello everyone.This is my first time here.I have been with a verbally,mentally and emotionally abusive man for 27 years that would never commit to marrying me.I had him arrested and put in jail one time last fall and removed from our home,and had him put on probation and a no contact order put on him.I let him come back home in May and removed again in June because his control got worse than it was before.He hasn’t changed one bit and still tries to contact me with broken promises,appologies and crying rivers of tears.He also uses our adult children by preying on their emotions to send me messages.I have the option to put him back in jail but cannot bring myself to that point.He is now sitting down at the end of my street when he meets our daughter for a visit.He claims in his letters that he wants to marry me,that he wants a bond with our children and grandchildren that he has never attempted to have all these years,but he cannot see in any way that he needs to do his own work for himself and says he NEEDS me to help him change.It plays on my conscience and I’m mildly depressed my counsellor tells me.I’ve been going to counselling for a year now and he was removed from our home 3 months after I started counselling.I still care about him very much,worry about him and miss what I thought we could have,a family together that I never had growing up.I came from a broken home.His father was abusive in every way to his mother and sexually abusive to 2 of his sisters.I can’t understand why my ex has never hit me and at times I wish he had because I feel if he had,it would have been easier to leave him.I also have thoughts of suicide and killing him because hurting him emotionally hurts me so much but I know there is nothing more I can do to help him.He has to want to change and I am starting to believe he will NEVER change.I read your posts on here and they have made me feel a lot better.I plan on staying with this site,because I feel it will help me keep my thinking straight and am planning on contacting the doctor tomorrow for medication to help my depression.Thankyou everyone for your thoughts,they are greatly appreciated.