Part of the issue with my wife has always been her refusal to take responsibility for her actions – anything that has happened in our marriage is my fault, I’m emotionally abusive, etc., etc. And I do acknowledge, looking back, that I did and said some really crappy things, as a result of being co-dependent.But last night, I got thinking, and it occurred to me that in the vast majority of abusive situations, it’s not the abuser who leaves (except in those scenarios where they’re forcibly removed by the police, court order etc.). But realistically, the one who leaves the relationship, seeks a safe haven, goes to a shelter, whatever, is the one who’s been abused.I think that says a lot about these situations. I left my wife, yet she insists I’m the one who was abusive, and that she’s the victim. Strange that if I’m such an abusive SOB, that I left without a place to go. I gave up the family home and the investment properties. I’m the one who’s in major debt because I had to start all over.If I really wanted to control her, I’d have stayed around to do so.I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts on this.tx