At work, someone who doesn’t even know me outside of the job approached a friend of mine and told him, “Be careful…she (me) was tough on the other two (my exes).” I went to a supervisor, and she said that it will get taken care of. What upsets me is that the person who said that planted a seed of doubt in the mind of my friend, who has trusted me, but started to distance himself and felt scared after hearing that. I sensed a pulling back and doubt from him, so I asked him about it. He would not have told me what was said had I not asked. After everything those two ‘men’ (my ex’s –they don’t really deserve the term ‘husband’) put me through, after all I sacrificed in the name of “fairness” –granted, I was no saint. In retrospect, I’ve realized that I never loved either of them. On the other hand, neither did either of them love me. You don’t do what they did to me when you love someone. What hurts is that this friend of mine now has that seed (weed) of doubt in his mind about me, through no fault of my own, because some A-hole had to spread a rumor based on a lie. I’d like to approach said a-hole and say to him, “The next time you try to ‘protect’ someone from the likes of me, you might want to check your facts – you had them a little backwards…I take that back. You had them a lot backwards.” It’s bad enough to have gone through it, twice, to the point of wanting to commit suicide, because I figured my abusive H (at the time) and two children would be better off without me…now, some 5 and more years later, someone on a team that I support (via my job duties) tries to destroy my friendship with someone who I have finally been able to trust, and who has trusted me without questioning my every motive (as opposed to what abusers will do) –not to mention my friend has had some bad experiences with the women in his life…how cruel and evil. I can’t stop thinking about it…I can’t seem to stop crying about it. The damage has been done…I can’t help thinking that even though my friend has the maturity to still trust me based on his experience with me, there will be that niggling doubt in the back of his mind, ready to spring forward. What the F’s the matter with people, anyway?!? Why can’t I ever escape the demons of my past? It’s still following me around, except now I have people saying that I was the one who put them through it. It just sucks that people have to be that way, and try to hurt people for their own ego gratification.