Advice please:here is an incident that occurred a few minutes ago. It is characteristic of repeated incidents. My wife has abused our children with violence and me emotionally. Accordingly, our children have developed the impulsive habit of acting violently. My son, 18, recently was being “pestered” by his sister of 15. He acted violently toward her, spraying deodorant in her eyes (ie, alcohol and all). We called poison control and were instructed to have her stand in shower and run water in eyes for 15 minutes and then possibly go to hospital. Immediately after the incident, while she was washing her eyes in the lavatory, I said to them “I am sorry that you have learned these behavior patterns from your mother’s violence toward you, but it is really a dangerous behavior pattern that I hope you can get over.” My wife overheard the statement and became furious with me – with the scolding and guilt-inducing yelling. She demanded that I apologize to the children for suggesting that her violence had anything to do with it. Any suggestions about how to deal with the scoldings and/or what to tell children to help them deal with the behavior patterns? Thank you very much.