Sorry, I am just feeling very weak today. I had been building my strength back this week but today, for some reason, I am missing him so much more. I broke down and cried today and admitted that I wish I could have him back, that I know I would take him back even though I know the abuse would continue because I love him so much and miss him. If it weren’t for the court ordered ‘no contact’ i would be calling him and I know he would be calling me.I know he is missing me so badly, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up, as he is very romantic, and I just wish I could be in his arms again. I really feel like this pain of missing him is bigger than the pain of his abuse and I can;t bear it.Is this something that will pass and in time I will see that I was delusional or is this a sign that once the courts lift the no contact order and he obeys his sentence we can get back together and make it work? I am so confused. I know I wanted this, for us to break up, but the pain of his absence is so much greater than I anticipated…Maybe I am just having a weak day…