First, I’d like to stay anon, if possible. I don’t want any reprocussions. And there are parts of this that are very embarassing.I felt the need to share this, because it’s so unique and very violent. I had a lot of fear with telling this story. Honestly, this is the first time I’ve ever told this. My family doesn’t even know. I know this is a long story, but it’s important for other men to read and understand the signs and the cause. If you think a woman can’t hurt you physically, then you need to read on.I met my X-wife in high school. I was a training helper with our football team, she was a cheerleader. She was also on the gymnastics team and competed at national level. I wasnt typically the type of guy she dated: she was popular, beautiful and active in sports. I’m a small guy, smaller in high school. I was 5’4″ and 120lbs… skinny, I know. Anyway, things were great. We went to the same college in Georgia, where she got a scholarship for gymnastics. I went into IT services, she majored in sports fitness/Personal Training. We both graduated, then got married 6 months later. I got a job with a large software company making very good money. She didn’t have to work, but she wanted to use her degree as a personal trainer… so that’s what she did. We bought a house in Atlanta and everything was great… for awhile. For the first three years, she was amazing, the perfect wife. She respected my long work hours, she worked hard with her clients and became successful… enough to open her own gym near Roswell and personal trainer business. Money was great, our personal life was great and our future looked bright.Fast forward: I started noticing strange things with her, like extreme mood swings. For example, I started working from home and would only be in my office on Monday’s. She would get home around 4pm, and she would say “You didn’t clean today”? I’d tell her why I didn’t and she’d be fine. But then as time went on, she became more and more demanding, leaving me a list of things to do during the day. Now even though I’m at home most of the time, I’m still working, sometimes 12 hours a day. I’d do stuff around the house when I could, but usually I’d wait til the weekend. She’d get varbally abusive, but nothing terrible. She’d say things like “You’re not really working all day, are you” and “You’re just being lazy”. Remarks would start jokingly, then would become more direct and condescending. Her mood would change here and there; she’d be insulting one day, then she’d be the sweet girl I remembered in high school.In August, 2000, I was told that my employer wanted me to transfer to *****, ***** for one year. The money and offer was too good to pass up. She didn’t really mind going as long as she could fly back home when needed. We moved in October, 2000 into a really nice home outside of the city, in sort of farm land.So, to make it a little shorter, she didn’t work but instead met a girl at a local gym in *****. The girl was some kind of fitness competitor and my wife started working out every other day with her. She was hanging out with this girl more and more, she was gone three or four nights out of the week. For a few months, she was happy and our marriage got better. I even went to the gym with her and went out with her friend and her friend’s husband. We all became friends. Now, here’s the turning point:She started acting really different. She’d always been active, but now she was going constantly. She had tons of energy and our sex life got better and better. But the one thing I noticed is that she was getting really aggressive in bed. What I mean is that she’d come home from working out with her friend, and would want sex. But that’s when the aggression came out. If I complied, it would be ok, although she would be extremely strong and almost forceful. If I didn’t agree to sex, then it was hell. It started as name calling: She’d call me a fag, say I wasn’t man enough for her, call me stupid and ignorant. She humiliate me around friends, referring to me as the “little man” because I’m short, I guess. She would say things like “I couldn’t convince him to fu– yesterday… you think he’s a faggot”? And then laugh and say “I’m just kidding, babe”. This went on and on. One night, after being out with friends, when we got home I confronted her about the name calling and abuse. I remember her saying “God, it’s just a joke, be man enough to take it”. I would complain all the time about the verbal abuse. One night after I complained, we started arguing. Before I knew it, she slapped me. I was stunned. She told me to shut up or more was coming. I was so shocked and just thought maybe I did something wrong.Over time, her personality changed. She was impatient, more verbally abusive, belittling, and when we had sex, she became so aggressive that sex wasn’t fun. I began being withdrawn with her. I avoided outings with friends, and did all I could to avoid confrontations. It was strange; She still had times of being sweet, when her old self would show. Like sometimes after saying something mean to me, she’d apologize. I started thinking of things like Bi-Polar, mania, etc. The mental abuse continued and she would just blow up and the smallest thing. It wasn’t just me: Like one time we went out to eat and the waiter mixed up our order. She yelled at him at told him to learn better english. It was so embarassing that I went outside. She would snap at clerks at grocery stores, Blockbuster and other places. She wasn’t the woman I married anymore. Each day became a living hell full of mental and verbal abuse. The only relief I got was when she was at the gym, which was more and more.Reluctantly, I talked to her friend one day and she told me that she seemed fine to her. So I thought maybe it was me, maybe I’m the problem. I started doing research online one day and her moods pointed to her being Bi-Polar. Like a fool, I mentioned it to her one day… and that was a mistake. We started arguing and I told her that I couldn’t live like this. I remember her telling me that I drug her to Brazil, and now that we’re here, she’s not letting me go anywhere. More arguing, then I told her that I was moving out unless she changed. I told her she was crazy and needed to be on medication. As soon as I got the words out, she punched me in the face with a closed fist. I remember everything going dark and falling. I put my arms across my face because I couldn’t see very good and didn’t know what was next. After a minute or so, I could see again and noticed that my nose was bleeding. She had left, so I went to the bathroom to take care of my nose.Now I want to clarify something: Yes, I’m a small guy, but I’m not weak. I’m fit and can handle myself to a point. But here’s the thing: My X had been an althete all her life. She’s 5’10” and at that time was probably around 150lbs. She had always been strong and had been going to the gym like crazy. I noticed that in the past few months, she’d gained a lot of muscle, faster than I thought was possible. But, she is a personal trainer and it’s expected for her to have a certain amount of muscle, so for awhile I thought nothing of it.OK, so I started putting things together. That evening while she was gone, I searched her gyms bags and found what I suspected: I found a vial of Sustanon, which is a bodybuilding steroid. I freaked out and got pissed off. I couldn’t believe that she would do something SO stupid. That would explain the amount of muscle she had gained. I contacetd her friend and asked her about it. She said she had no idea she was using steroids and would talk to her about it. But she did tell me that she knew my X started using PCP, but didn’t know how to tell me.I didn’t see her until the next morning (she stayed with her friend and told her we were having problems). She came in the next morning and acted like nothing happened. She saw my black eyes and said, “Oh yeah, sorry about that. You just made me mad. Don’t do that and everything will be fine, OK”. I didn’t know what to say, so I just agreed. After a shower, she left for work. She told me she had a late client and would be at the gym all day. She also told me to have dinner ready when she got home. I never said a word. I spent the day in disbelief, trying to figure out what to do. I couldn’t just up and leave because of my job. And I still loved her, despite what happened. I decided I let it go and try to make the best of it. After all, it’s not like I hadn’t been hit in the face before. But not by someone I loved. Anyway, I let it go.Things were ok of for awhile, even seemed to get better. But, I knew she was still using Steroids because of how she was acting, her irritability and the increasing muscle size. Her sexual drive increased to where she wanted it two or three times a day and the sexual acts were more and more aggressive. Even with her muscle gain, she was still attractive, she had a beautiful face… but I felt less and less attracted to her because of the hell she’d been putting me through. She came home after work one day and wanted me to shower with her. I did, and afterwards, of course she wanted sex. I told her I was tired and had a project that had to be finished by tomorrow. She got pissed, yelled at me (as usual), called me the common names, slapped me in the face and told me I was worthless. She said she was going to bed, then shoved me out of the bedroom and slammed the door. I worked on my project on my laptop for awhile and decided to sleep on the couch.After about an hour, she came downstairs and was wearing just a T-shirt, she looked attractive. She sat next to me on the couch and got sweet acting and apologetic and wanted me to come to bed. I felt guilty so I followed her to the bedroom. For a moment I saw the sweet beautiful girl I feel in love with 10 years ago. But then she turned into an animal and started kissing me and being real aggressive. I told her to take it easy, she called me a wimp and threw me on the bed. At that point I was pissed and got up, telling her that I’m done, I’m not doing this anymore. She screamed at me and said “F-you, yeah you are”. I started out the door and she grabbed me. We struggled back and forth, pushing and pulling. I got past her and out the door. Then she grabbed me from behind around the neck, like choking me, and drug me back into the bedroom (she was a lot taller than me, so it was difficult to resist, especially from behind). Then she threw me on the floor and locked the door. I was on my knees on the floor trying to catch by breath and she told me to stay down. As I started to get back up, she kicked me on the side of my head. She didn’t have shoes on, so it felt like a slap over my ear. My ears rang and I saw bright flashes of light for a second. Again, I want to say that I’m NOT a weak person. But you have to understand that this girl was very althetic, had been in the gym for months and was on steroids and God knows what else. While struggling with her before, I felt how strong she was. So, I dont want to sound wimpy, but I want everyone to understand that this girl was impossible to control.When my eyes cleared a few seconds later, I found her standing over me, stepping on my throat with her foot. I pushed her leg away and moved to the wall where I got myself up. She started towards me and I thought to myself that I was going to have to fight her to get out, which I was prepared to do. As she got closer, I hit her in the face, pushed her against the wall and ran for the door. Before I could unlock it, she was on top of me. She grabbed me around the neck and jumped on my back. I got the door unlocked and started out with her on my back, but she started jerking me backwards and we fell down. She was screaming that she would kill me before I left. While we were on the ground, I turned around to get on top of her and managed to push her arms down. I was yelling at her to stop. She was still struggling trying to push me off. She managed to push my arms back up, forcing me off of her a little. Somehow in the struggle, she got her legs around my chest and started pushing against me, like squeezing & pushing me backwards. We still struggled back and forth and I was still laying on top of her until her face turned red and she screamed again “I’ll f-ing kill you”. I don’t know exactly what happened or how, but all of a sudden she turned into a psycho. She tightened her legs around me so much I had a hard time breathing. I let go of her hands to pull her legs off, but couldn’t. I hit her several times in the stomach, but it didn’t matter. I tilted over sideways and kind of fell over. She just kept squeezing tighter and tighter with her legs. At this point, it was really hard to breathe and I kept pushing and pulling against her legs, but couldnt get her off me. She just kept squeezing, wouldnt let me go. I tried to talk to her, but really couldnt. Her teeth were clinched, her face was red and she was screaming. It’s like it wasn’t her. I tried to kind of crawl away, but i was dragging her weight and at this point, I had no strength. Three different times I felt very sharp pains in my chest. She was insane and I couldnt get away. I felt another sharp pain around my chest and was thinking of something like a heart attack. I had never felt anything like that in my life. I started getting light headed and blurred vision. I thought My God, she’s killing me, I’m going to die here like this and cant do anything about it.I want to say that those of you thinking I could do something to get away, you’re crazy. I couldnt move her legs an inch and she was stronger than anything I’ve ever felt in my life. I guess “roid rage” kicked in. Fear of being laughed at is why I’ve never uttered a word.But to continue: I managed to say please stop. And for some reason, she stopped squeezing me and moved her legs. I got my breath, but every one I took hurt, like something stabbing. I could hardly move and didn’t know where she went. I finally got up and pulled myself to the bed where I sat. I was shocked, stunned that she just did this to me, that she was physically ABLE to do this to me… I really didn’t know what to think. Well like a fool, I didn’t leave when I should’ve. I was sitting on the side of the bed sort of bent over holding my chest. The door is to the left of the bed, which is where I was sitting. She stormed back in like 5 minutes later and right when she walked in, she walked kind of past me and at the same time kneed me in the face, meaning that like when she walked by in front of me, she like brought her thigh up into my face while my head was down. All I honestly remember is my head going backwards on the bed and everything going black. When I woke up, I was on the floor and she was standing over me. I had blood on my shirt which I assumed was from my nose. I remember her saying “I want sex NOW!”. I called her something like a bitch. I really dont know why I just didn’t do what she said, then get out, but I think it was pride, I couldn’t accept that a woman was in control. Maybe ego. Maybe it was stupidity. I dont know, but I know I didnt make the smartest decisions that night.When I called her a b–ch, she started stomping on my head and neck area. Now understand that I had already been squeezed almost unconscious, choked and kicked in the face; I didn’t exactly have all the strength I couldve. I turned over to protect my face and she kept stomping on my back and shoulders. She grabbed the back of my shirt and hair and pulled me up, then – honest to God, no lie – she literally picked me up like in a bear hug thing and threw me on the bed. I moved to the side and rolled off, trying to get up and get out. She began stomping on my back and neck again, pushing me down each time I tried to get up. I got out of the bedroom and into the hall. Grabbed the side table and pulled myself up. But once I got up, she was on me again. She picked me up from behind, brought me back into the bedroom and threw me on the floor. She kicked me in the face again then got on top of me. I wiggled and moved but she kept punching me in the back and side of my head. I was really fighting for my life because everytime she hit me, it felt like a baseball bat. I pushed up to my elbows and she grabbed my arms, then it got worse. She did the leg squeeze thing again, but now she put her legs around my neck and head, like some kind of squeezing head thing. She did something else with her feet, but I dont remember. I remember hearing her say that she was the boss, that she told me what to do. I couldnt respond. She started pushing or squeezing my head with her legs. I remember thinking that my head would crush or cave in, because the pain was horrible. It felt like you imagine a car running over your head. I couldnt move, couldnt talk and couldnt really breathe. She was like holding my hands between and under her feet, so I was basically trapped. I remember thinking that she really was going to kill me. I thought of my sisters and my parents, and my grandfather. I thought of all the things I wanted to do in life. Everything I’d done wrong I saw in my mind and said prayers.Breathing was hard, it felt like my skull would be crushed. I barely heard her when she screamed at me, then I felt her tense up her legs and squeeze harder and my vision went black, but I could still hear her screaming, so I knew I was alive. I stopped struggling and didn’t move anymore. I accepted that I was going to die, that this was it, that I was going to be killed by my psycho wife squeezing me to death. I guess I passed out. I woke up later that night in the bed, blood was all over me. I got to the bathroom and could see that I had been bleeding from my right ear, and couldnt hear from that one. I was shaken, in horrible pain, but was alive.To hurry up and end this, my X came in the bathroom where I was and kicked me in the side. I fell down, she dragged me out of the bathroom to the bedroom floor. She kicked me in the crotch, then over and over on the right side of my head. Again, she stomped on my face and head, then all over my body. She just continued to stomp and kick me over and over and over. I only thank God that she was barefoot and no shoes to make it worse. To make it short, she continued to beat me that night, mostly kicking, kneeing and stomping on me on the floor. Guess she didnt want to mark up her hands because she only used her feet, legs and knees. I suppose someone could see marks on her hands and question her about them. I don’t know. I was stomped and kicked unconscious.I woke up two days later in a hospital in *****. The doctor came in to talk to me. I noticed that I couldn’t talk. I remember him saying that the police were looking for them, but hadn’t found anyone yet. She had told them that I was attacked outside a mall by four men, one had a bat… and they robbed me. The doctor told me about my injuries.The end result was: 4 broken ribs on the left, 6 broken on the right, broken collarbone, broken jaw (which was wired shut), missing four teeth, damage to the thoracic and cervical region of my spinal column, bruised pelvis, broken sternum, dislocated right shoulder, fractured right cheekbone, broken nose, three broken fingers on my left hand, fractured right wrist, and the worst was small fracture on both sides of my skull above my ears. I also had a concussion, which is why my ear was bleeding. And I permanently lost hearing in the right ear, the side that she kicked more. doctor said it resulted from blunt trauma, which damaged the vestibulocochlear nerve and damaged my hearing. Hell of a kick, huh? There were other things like severe bruising and internal bleeding.She came in when the doc was there. He pat her on the back and said “Good thing she rushed you in. Those were severe injuries”. She stood there with a smile on her face. I was there for 17 days. She picked me up and took me home. I remember thinking that there was no way out now, so I stayed. Who the hell was gonna believe that a woman did that? I’d be laughed out of Brazil. I kept my mouth shut. And right then, I was dependent on her because of what she did to me. I remember her constantly saying things like “You want another beating”? and “You understand that I call all shots now”… things like that to belittle me.For the next 7 months, I lived in constant fear of her. She always mentally and verbally abused me, but now I realized that she was capable of physically abusing me, beating me to a dangerous point, like she already did. I knew she had the ability and was crazy enough to kill me. I was in Brazil. I had no friends, I worked from home, nobody would believe me. SO, I did every single thing she told me to do. I never argued, always agreed, always told her she was right. She forcefully took total control of our life, our relationship and of my life. She made all decisions, she even told me what to wear, what to eat, where I could and couldnt go, how much money I could spend, what I could watch on TV. It goes on and on. She literally controlled every aspect of my life. Once in awhile when I didn’t do something fast enough, she’d slap me or kick me in the stomach. The hell went on and on.Even though I’m 100% man, I am ashamed to say that I was terrified of her. I was terrified to have my back to her, to sleep with her. I was scared that I’d say the wrong thing or not do something right. I knew that I could not defend myself from her physically, that she could overpower me and beat me like before. She forced me to have sex with her, even going as far as to rape me. During those times, she would be very aggressive, would throw me around, would squeeze me with her legs during and before sex sometimes, to a point where I’d have constant bruising around my stomach, sides and back. She’d grab me by the throat, hold me down on the bed and do certain things to me. Sometimes after she worked out, in a roid rage I guess, she’d come home and just want to be violent. She’d use me to wrestle around with. She’d tell me to wrestle back, and I would, especially when I let out my anger. But it really didn’t matter what I did against her. She would choke me, throw me around like a baby doll, put her legs around my body and head and squeeze the life out of me until I either gave up or passed out.That seemed to be her thing more and more, to squeeze me with her legs. It was like she got a high from doing it, and from abusing me in general. She used the steroids more and more and yes, the feminine aspects of a woman on roids do disappear. But, they gave her what she wanted: more muscle and more strangth. Actually, she had become so strong that it scared the crap out of me everytime she walked into the room; not from the look, but because she made it a point to constantly show me how strong she was. No matter what she did, no matter how prepared I was, when she had her mind set on abusing me, she did whatever she wanted… and there’s was absolutely no way I could physically stop her. Her strength was like nothing I’d ever known or imagined. I dont know if it was her strength or my fear, but it seemed like she was hurting me everytime she grabbed my arm or hand.One day she came home early and I knew she was having a roid rage. Because she was early, dinner wasn’t ready. She took it out on me. I clearly remember every single word said and every move made that night. She started yelling at me and came towards me. Well, I had gotten a golf putter and was hiding it behind me at the couch. As soon as she stuck her arm out towards me, I hit it with the club. Another mistake: I hit her on the shoulder and it seemed to not bother her. She grabbed the putter and threw it in the kitchen. I ran, she chased and caught me. That night, she squeezed, kicked and beat me until I could’nt walk. When she was finished, I just laid on the floor and cried to myself.It was constant beatings and constant leg squeezing… constant passing out episodes, constant black eyes, constant bruising and bleeding. I was being held captive in my own home, by a physically overpowering person I use to be in love with.It ended with her being sent to ****** with a client. As soon as she left *** (airport), I packed everything I had, withdrew all money from our joint account and my personal accounts, told my employer that I was taking a vacation now, bought an immediate ticket to Dallas, and flew back to the U.S. So she would have a hard time finding me, I flew to Dallas, took a small plane to *****, then a bus to *****. I went to our house and stayed there for the night. I moved things into a storage building and grabbed a hotel downtown for a few days. She called me on my cell. I’d talk to her so she’d think I was still there. The house was in my name only, so I put it up for sale the next day. In three days, it sold. I took the sale profit, paid off the mortgage and kept the rest. I ended up moving to a small city near ******, ****** and changed my cell number. It’s been almost 8 months and I haven’t talked to her. The bad part is that we’re still married. If I file for divorce, she’ll know where I live. Don’t really know what to do from here. If she found me, I know she’d do her best to kill me. I did buy a handgun and got a CCP weapons permit, so I’ll use it before I go back into that hell.I know this was long, but I thought it was important that people know that under the right circumstances, a woman can inflict just as much physical damage to you as a man can.Anonymous by request