I am a fifty year old women who has been abused since childhood and up my second marriage in my fourty’s.My father was an alcholic, abuseuve physically, emotionally and love to play with your mind. My older brother molested me, my first husband cheated on me with my girlfriend and became pregnant, my second husband almost killed me.I am 50 now my life has passed me by I go thru the motions but I do not live. I am socially inactive, I suffer from anxiety,depression, and I have not had a relationship in over 5 years. I cry alot seems like more and more. Nothing holds my interest or makes me happy anymore. I can’t stand being inside my own head I wish I could unzip it and pull my mind out.In the past several years I have been in several car accidents not to my fault that I suffered and still suffer even after 3 surgerys. What in the heck. I was a life of suffering and am having a hard time dealing with it. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m tired of feeling pain and emptyness inside myself. Why does the hurt never go away. I’m sick of falling and dusting myself off and getting back up only for it to happen over and over.Several months ago I tried to take my life , I would never do that again but I do not know how to live anymore I just exist.