Hi All: I hope this is not considered too ‘off topic’ on this forum. KiwiHelen has touched on this in some of her posts regarding co-workers. I have had a similar problem with my immediate supervisor. It’s been ongoing pretty much since I started there. Actually, it started when someone above Supervisor noticed my good work and asked for me by name to join his team. Before then, I always felt like she saw me as ‘special’ and as a particularly good worker, one of her favorites (this is how they hook you, I’ve since learned). A little background: I work in somewhat of a ‘secretarial pool’ under the administrative umbrella. Our group is mostly women, who are divided up in different areas of my workplace to support certain departments. For example, one person might support engineering, doing administrative support, while another works in another building supporting emergency preparedness. This means that while we report to a single team leader (said Supervisor), we also answer to our customers, those supervisors and craftspeople whom we each support in the different departments. I’ve done everything I can think of to learn how to operate without ‘earning’ her ire, but today, i felt completely stuck. After one 5-minute phone conversation with her, I could feel my chest and stomach in knots. I could feel acid moving around in my stomach I sat in my chair staring at the computer screen for I don’t know how long, feeling numb. I felt mostly unproductive and unable to focus on anything all day.I spoke with a co-worker, who empathized with me and said that from what she witnessed, I had done the right thing. I spoke with the supervisor of the shop I support (my ‘customer’), who said that my direct supervisor had done the right thing (him not being fully aware of the depth of my bad history with her). While walking out to the parking lot, I felt overtaken by a feeling of hopelessness, going over in my mind everything I have done to try to remedy the situation and all my fantasies of what I’d like to do (not all of them legal / productive, if you catch my drift! )…and broke down bawling…on the way out to the car. Thankfully, I was parked in an area with few other vehicles, so I let out a few primal screams. I began to truly understand the feeling of depression being brought on by unexpressed anger, and a feeling of hopelessness. Then I went home, dropped the kids at Church program rehearsal and opened up the Windsor for the first time since New Year’s. Several weeks ago, I found small comfort in websites about narcissistic bullying, control-freak people at work. Their advice – get out / get away / get a different job / change departments. That’s not always easy. Of the most recent half dozen people who have left the department / company, 100% have given the Supervisor as at least one of their reasons for seeking greener pastures. I know a number of them, and they have all said they want to get out from working under her. Let’s see: As a group, we’ve gone to the Employee Concerns Program, requested a meeting with Supervisor’s supervisor, talked with HR, spoken directly with her supervisor and I have given him pages upon pages of information detailing what she has put me through. Ask any manager or supervisor about her, and they roll their eyes…they use phrases such as “fake” “hee-haws the company line (meaning she talks a good game),” “micromanager” and just general frustration. Nobody wants to deal with her, b/c she has a reputation for stirring up bee’s nests, and people who are there to actually get a job done don’t have time to deal with the chaos she creates. In the past 2 1/2 years of my employment, Supervisor has: 1.Driven wedges and attempted to drive wedges between myself and no fewer than 3 other co-workers 2. Done everything she can to make me look bad to my support /customers 3. insisted upon being the information liaison between myself and a knowledgeable person, then getting the information 180 degress backwards, and scolding me for correcting her (then later giving out the correct information, but never apologizes or admits to making a mistake) 4. Pulled me into private one-on-one meetings numerous, numerous times (at least 6) to discuss my ‘poor’ attitude and unprofessionalism, even after I have resolved an issue, or when I have checked an email with a disinterested third party supervisor before sending it out to Supervisor (which provoked one such “come to Jesus” meeting). 5. Castigated me for asking her to model the behaviors she expects of others. 6. Accused me of having a “less than productive tone” while on the phone with her when I was merely questioning her after she had gotten the facts mixed up / wrong again. 7. Told me I was not to attend meetings with the group I support, and that they can take their own notes / type up their own minutes…then later reversed that to say I should attend, if I’m taking and creating agendas, as that is “value-added” work. 8. Numerous other things I probably can’t even think of right now. I suppose one of the reason why I have such a hard time with her personally is that I feel like I did when I was living at home, the way the Mother Figure treated me (will soon be writing another ‘exciting thread on that!)…like an errant incompetent boob, a child, rather than a capable adult. Everyone in our group goes through phases where they have had enough of her and are ready to quit because of same crazy-ass Bullpucky she pulls. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, and the only one that remains is to meekly comply with every single bloody thing she does or says, no matter if it is right or wrong. Christ, it really is just like being in an abusive relationship all over again (which I suppose triggers a trauma response on my part)…and this time, there is no way out, not without taking a serious look at my financial realities. My Customer supervisor suggests that I leave CAB (Crazy-A** B*****) Supervisor out of anything I do, as much as humanly possible, and that since I support his shop, I should direct what our shop needs to be done…I have his go-ahead on that. if anyone has a problem with my directing them / telling them what we need and asking them to comply with those expectations, they can call him…or, they can call my Supervisor, who can call me, who can call him, who will straighten CABS out. Maybe one of these days, I will finally get it through my head to listen to him and pretty much cut her out of everything I do, as much as I can, as all she does is stir things up, and though everyone knows what a collossal PITA she is, she somehow still manages to keep her very well-paying job, while driving her subordinates (a dime a dozen, I guess, as we truly are low man on the totem pole around there) to other departments / companies…Survivor: Outwit, Outplay, Outlast. Any and all words of wisdom / advice are welcome and appreciated….thought writing it out here might saved me a few $thousand in therapy (though I did consider going to a counselor and charging it on my business credit card for Supervisor to approve of – but alas, that would likely only give her even more sick satisfaction at knowing she ‘got’ to me and that I look like the ‘crazy’ one). Augh.