One thing I’ve noticed, as a Christian (faithful) woman, is how sometimes, those with “good intentions” will pull a Christian guilt-trip on you for wanting to end a marriage to an abusive spouse –they don’t get how damaging this is. I was brought up pretty strict, with the whole “marriage is for life” concept, and it was a real struggle for me to finally end the relationship, as there was so much shame involved. Here’s what I’ve learned on my own: If God is not involved in the first place, it’s not really a true “marriage.” In other words, if your reasons for committing to that person were based on things such as fear, guilt, lust, obligation, loneliness, desperation, financial security,feelings of low self-worth / self-loathing, or anything that is decidedly NOT of God (but rather, of the enemy), then did God sanction that marriage? Is it even possible for Him to do so?And, IMO, if God’s not involved, it cannot truly be Love, as God is the creator of Love.Would the God I choose to believe in want me to promise myself to someone who would make me feel worthless, useless, (also not of God), who would drag me down so much, that I felt ready to turn my soul over to the devil (i.e. contemplating suicide / violence against my ex)? Would my God want that? I think not. Not all marriages are sanctioned by God. When we let things of this earth, especially those of us who grew up programmed with lies about our own worth, choose our spouse rather than God, we set ourselves up for failure. Yes, some people can make it through, and are happy and find Love, but for most of us, it is a set-up for abuse. Here are a couple of links I found today: Blogged by a man, I believe, who has a lot to say about the distorted Biblical interpretations of “marriage forever, no matter what.” A beautiful article; it brought tears to my eyes, as this theologian breaks down certain phrases from the Bible and explains the original intent of the Hebrew wording…wow! I’ve heard many times “God hates divorce,” and will tell you right now, that’s not the only thing He hates. The two webpages from above will explain in greater detail. Many times in the Bible, it discusses how a husband should treat a wife and how a wife should treat her husband, Isaiah 61 states, that God hates iniquity and injustice. He hates abuse! Committing to someone who God may or may not have intended for your spouse, out of a sense of obligation (a tool of the devil, IMHO), guilt, or whatever, to end up miserable and with a damaged / murdered soul is NOT what I believe God ever intended for marriage. Marriage was intended as a partnership, a coming together of two people, helping one another, growing together. What happens in abusive relationships is not a marriage. Marriage requires two people working together. That cannot ever happen in abusive relationships, unless the abuser really takes a long hard look at themselves (not pretending…good luck) and really tries to change (not likely). My former MIL actually told me once that I should apologize to God…for marrying her son. Now, I wish someone would tell her that she ought to apologize for daring to use the Bible to judge and shame someone else, rather than to look for her own shortcomings to work on. I guess the apple don’t fall too far from that tree. Hope this helps,